I don't think you need to be embarrassed about it. Academic advisors get really weird emails all the time. They're also usually responsible for a TON of students, so it's likely that they'll totally forget about it by the next time that you talk to them. Honestly I only spoke with my academic advisor 3 times during my first 4 years of college, and it was all through email.

I think you need to have a talk with your husband about respecting your school life in the same way that he respects your work life. You should explain to him that you want to handle these things completely on your own, even if it seems like you're struggling or failing. I think he's having a problem understanding why this is bothering you because you view the experience differently. You seem to be viewing it as a personal growth experience, and meeting the challenges of going back to school validates your status as an adult who can do things on her own. He seems to be looking at it as just another responsibility that you have, and he wants to help make sure that you succeed. He's a bit older than you, so you may have started your relationship out with him feeling like you needed his guidance and experience. When you admitted feeling overwhelmed he emailed your advisor because he was trying to protect you and help you succeed. He didn't know that you would feel undermined and take it so personally. It doesn't sound like it was malicious, and it really isn't a huge deal. I think you should probably examine why this upset you so much. Do you feel like he doesn't respect you as a competent, professional woman? Are you afraid that your counselor won't respect you because you waited to continue your education? Do you feel like people in your life don't believe in you enough? You are objectively overreacting, but there's obviously something that's causing you to be this upset. That doesn't necessarily mean that your husband needs to be punished, a simple "let me handle my own stuff" should suffice.

I would also try to think about instances where your husband has supported you and shown that he respects you. When a person is upset it's easy to remember the other times that a person has upset them, and hard to remember times when the opposite occurred. Is he generally a supportive guy and this was an anomaly? You're also probably really stressed right now with everything that's happening, and this might be a convenient way to vent your frustration. Your husband might also be embarrassed that he misjudged the situation. You didn't include a bunch of other times that he undermined or disrespected you, so it seems like a misunderstanding. I would just let him know that you can handle things on your own, and let it be. Maybe send an email thanking your counselor for reconfirming, and be done with it.