Wow this is almost identical to my situation. I was also on a mental health leave from work and ended up with about 10k in credit card debt. It wasn’t even from crazy shopping sprees. I just didn’t have income coming in and needed groceries and other necessities but I didn’t want to bother my SO with the burden.

Eventually, the guilt and shame became too much and I told him and my parents about the debt. I refinanced it and will have it paid off in 2.5 years. It’s a really really really embarrassing and shameful secret to keep. But it also isn’t that hard to do. I couldn’t believe how quickly the money added up. I was stupid and learned a huge lesson from that mistake.

If you want things to work out, you need to let go of any anger and resolve to help her and be on her team. Let her know that even though she made a mistake, it doesn’t make her a bad person. There really isn’t a perfect way to ensure she is being honest, so that is something you will have to work on together.

There is hope and it gets better ❤️❤️