We're both pretty easy to get riled up. He shuts down a lot faster than I do, though, so even if we're trying to talk our way through something, he'll give up on it and just ignore me until he feels like talking to me later.
I don't think he was being a baby for staying in bed. He was really sick, he had to call in to work and everything. I knew he was in no shape to accomplish anything, and I stay in bed too when I'm sick and avoid our son so I don't get him sick.
The problem is really that trying to get help from him is like pulling teeth, so asking him about something so simple and getting snapped at made me really mad. He spends around 11 hours a day on his Xbox, more if he isn't working. I see no reason he can't spend two of those hours every day hanging out with us, or helping me clean, or keeping our son entertained so I can clean or do school work. It's really frustrating that he stays up until 5-8 every morning socializing and playing games, then tells me he "couldn't sleep" and is thus too tired to get up and help me with our son.
The last time I wanted all 3 of us (me, him, our room mate) to try to agree on some basic house chores (how often to clean the bathroom, whether we need to clean at different times, etc) he accused me of being a hypocrite before I even had a chance to explain to him what I wanted us to talk about, and refused to listen to anything I said about needing help. He literally went into the bathroom and closed the door so I would stop talking to him because I pointed out that we literally had no kitchen counter space and it was difficult to walk through the hallway and living room because there was so much clutter and there were so many dirty dishes.
He's so bad that DSS almost took our son from us because I couldn't clean enough to satisfy them that it was safe for him. They literally said we had one week to clean and if they weren't happy, our son was going with them. Even then, my SO wouldn't help me clean. He just said they couldn't take him, they were bluffing, etc and kept playing video games. I offered his parents all the money I had saved from my minimum wage job to help pay for custody proceedings if that became a possibility to keep the state from taking custody of our son.
I agree with you that it would be helpful if we could have someone babysit our little guy for a while, but there's just nobody. As it is, he leaves every weekend to go to grandma's, and then my SO is on his Xbox all weekend while I try to do some cleaning and my school work for the week for both classes. I'm really considering getting a hotel room next weekend just so I can be somewhere clean and quiet. He used to talk about us doing that together. We never did it, though.