ok, this is gonna come off as judgmental bc it probably is but it’s time to get “un-engaged.” if you guys got engaged 4 years ago and don’t have a date set he isn’t your fiancé, he’s your boyfriend. which is good for you, bc you guys are clearly in no position to get married right now.

you’re listing out all this shit he’s doing wrong. I get it, you need to vent. but I think it’s concerning that you have so much to say to us folks on Reddit but are telling us “I have not set expectations.” You need to set expectations. some people might default to a level of cleanliness that is acceptable to you. your BF is clearly not one of those people. so have a conversation about expectations and then hold each other go them. if you feel that he is creating more work for you than he contributes to the household then tell him that. figure out who is going to be responsible for what. would the distribution of work be more suitable if he did the laundry and folded it and put it away? then have him do that. figure out what works for you, communicate it, and help each other follow-through. if he can’t or won’t contribute an equal/acceptable amount then you’ll need to figure out how you want to proceed. mayve you need to move on from him. or maybe he’s otherwise a great guy and you will choose to either lower your standards or keep doing the lions