Why is random non-intimate sex the ultimate goal?

Because a lot of guys see women as fleshlights who just happen to breathe. To paraphrase Ricky Roma, think back to the random fucks you've had, did they leave you satisfied even in the short term? I'd guess not, generally, since those events were about his pleasure, not yours.

Where are women "who can't find great guys" actually looking? Swipe apps are dumpster fires. Bars on W 6th, Rainey or Rock Rose? Let's be real, those guys are the same fratty dopes you ran across ten years ago, behavior unchanged. The odds you'll be able to tame and mold them are remote.

Your list of good qualities

People make this mistake all the time. You seem like a good human being, and that's great! But you don't get any bonus points for that.

I hope this didn't come across as a personal attack on you, just food for thought for everyone.