I'm sorry that you're going through this. I relate so much to what you've written. My partner can't have a difficult conversation without believing I'm personally attacking them and begin yelling and then the tables turn to "what about you, you do xyz" when it is not even context to the discussion. I posted in this thread and had to delete it because I felt like I was going to get people saying 'oh you need to leave' etc. It's tough because I still want to believe that my partner will be able to get past this immature and defensive behavior, I want them to stay in my life - but some days its like 'why am I trying more than anyone else to make this work'?