Yup, went pretty much as I expected. Once she got in the car I chilled out.

She was utterly unreadable on the choice of activities, so i just said screw it and went for the museum. Aaaaand the museum was closed, haha. So, it was on to the mall. We ended up not even doing what I'd intended. She mentioned she had credits on her Dave and Busters card, so we went in and spent, like, an hour and a half blasting away at things together ^_^

Then it was on to dinner. Then I suggested checking out a bar she'd mentioned last week. I ordered a rather strong beer, and it did its job in helping me get into a more un-self-conscious flow of conversation.

Went for a walk. Took her hand. She seemed, I dunno, startled, or something, so I asked, "Is this alright?" And she said it was. We walked on for a bit. I held her hand somewhat more tightly and she held it back. As we walked down the next block I stopped walking, let her get to the end of my arm, and then pulled her back in. She seemed a little startled again, but I wasn't stopping. "Oh? Yes? Oh!" she said with a surprise that, frankly, surprised me in turn. And then I kissed her.

And it was nice. And all the stress finally melted away. Everything was so easy after that--conversation, joking, and...well, the rest.

We went to one more bar and had another beer, then went for a walk again and sat in a park while we waited for some of the intoxication to wear off so i could drive. We kissed again, this time with exaggerated groping.

When we went back to the car I tried to find a secluded place to park, but not being from the area I couldn't think of anything. So I just said screw it and rented a hotel room.

This is, oddly enough, one of the few times I've had sex while intoxicated and while my performance wasn't tragic, it wasn't, shall we say, up to standard. Perhaps a national average, if you will.

When I dropped her off at her house later I asked, "Just so we're crystal: where's your head at with all this?"

She said, "Well. I like you. I like spending time with you. I mean, with or with out the sex. I really like spending time with you." Then she mentioned that she wasn't looking for a relationship. She said that she's not ready for a relationship. Her head's not in it, and she's got too much on her plate.

She had mentioned this much earlier on, in fact, before the first kiss. She mentioned that she had had relationships that were intense and soemtimes not good for her, and she got out of one several months ago. Now, her friend likes to go out with her to "meet cute boys", lol. She did take the time to mention that she's extremely loyal in relationships, so maybe that's a good sign.

So, anyway, I asked her if she wanted to do this again. She said yes.

And now I feel better and worse--all at the same time. Better because, well, WOW! She's amazing and it all went so well. Worse because, well, WOW! She's amazing and now I think I'm even worse off. I have been actively not wanting a relationship for almost two years now. I'm enjoying being single. Seriously. But, fuck, man, this girl. She's amazing. Last week I thought I was falling for her. Now I'm pretty damn sure I am.

And now I really don't know what to do. O_O'' haha