I [28M] found my partner's [24M] reddit account, and I'm unsettled by some of his comments there

"One of the good ones" as in someone belonging a to a minority or oppressed group who tries to gain social points with the out-group by being unbothered by whatever they do or say. Like the "I'm not like the other girls" kind of women who try to gain the social favour of men by talking about how sexism isn't that big of a deal, and how all the other women are overreacting and taking things like their health, safety and dignity too seriously. Or a black guy who hangs out with racist white people and enabling them by letting their offhand remarks slide, prompting the company they keep to say things like "you're not like the other [group], you're one of the good ones", implying that they still hate them systematically, but will make a personal exception for this person.

He personally says he "doesn't get politics", and if I point out that something is a dogwhistle, he usually genuinely had no idea.

/r/relationships Thread Parent