I've been married for 10 years. I've know him 15. It was one of those relationships that had slightly changed when our relationship progressed but not enough to warrant me throwing in the towel. So, marriage was the next logical step. He proposed (begrudgingly now that I look back) and completely check out of all wedding plans. We started sleeping together less and less. I believe 3 months in between was the longest stretch. I kept ignoring those signs. I kept making excuses for him and he kept making excuses for himself. Sometimes he'd blame work or money. Sometimes he'd blame me. We married. Our consummation was less than earth-shattering to say the least. I basically felt like I was bothering him by wanting to make love on our wedding night. After that and for 8 1/2 years he got worse and I fell out of love almost completely. He'd call me names (Crazy fucking bitch was a favorite of his). He'd put me down for my weight, my clothes, my hair (he hated when I straightened it. I hated it naturally curly so your mention of that hit home). Nothing I could do was right or good enough. The food I cooked was not good, the house wasn't clean enough. He'd yell at me for spending $20 on diapers (we have two kids, hence my remark to you) yet he'd spend thousands on his "toys". He'd even tell me my showers were too long. He'd put my friends down, even in front of them. He'd complain about my parents meanwhile he'd defend his parents and had actually told me that he could always get another wife but his mother is the only mother so she'd always win. I told him many times I didn't love him anymore and I wanted a divorce. Things would get better for a couple days or weeks, just long enough for me to stay, then they'd steadily decline again. Finally about a year and a half ago something happened and we were both ready to get out. I didn't love him and I tried to hurt him as much as he had hurt me. We told my daughter and she was devastated. Now, as bad of a husband he was, he was a great father. He loves his kids more than anything on earth. More than his mom even!! Something clicked in him at that very moment, seeing his daughter cry and beg for her mommy and daddy not to live in separate homes. We both did a tremendous amount of talking and crying. We went to therapy for months. Since then, he hasn't wavered. I expected him to go back to the old husband he was. So far, almost two years later, so good. Once in a while he'll say something or act in a way that triggers an old memory in me. However, I call him out on it immediately and he apologizes and corrects the behavior. It amazes me that he is finally taking our relationship seriously. He treats me better than he ever did in the past. Even better than the first year. To think that we almost threw this away is unbelievable. But, we BOTH wanted a perfect relationship and we both admitted our faults and mistakes. We both went to therapy both separately and together. It's really hard some days, but when I think about it, I'm happy I stayed. My parents (married 45 years) instilled the sanctity of marriage in me. They never gave up on one another and had a great relationship up until my dad passed away. At my worst, that meant nothing. I didn't really care about marriage or what it had become in my life. Now, I see how important it is to me, my husband and our entire family.

Feel free to PM me with any questions. I'd love to help as best I can. :)