There was always one part of my body that I was extremely self conscious about and made a point to try and not have visible when being intimate and made it clear it was an absolute no go zone.

Fast forward to fooling around spontaneously with my partner of five years and we switch positions to where that body part will be prominently visible. I figured it would be worse if I got weird about it in the moment and decided to get out of my own head and just roll with it, because I trusted him completely anyway, right?

NOPE. After the fact he gave me a vivid description of that body part and how upsetting it was and how it was "seared into the inside of his eyelids". I think he thought he was being lighthearted and joking, but it was absolutely destroying.

As if that wasn't bad enough a couple months later I found proof of him having been liberally sampling that body part with a variety of women over the course of almost our entire relationship!

The entire breakup has been an absolute crushing nightmare, but having those things happen in rapid succession has absolutely ruined my self image.