Teaching the boys girlfriend sex ed
Now I see why my son was so keen to keep you from meeting me for as long as he has; you're fucking beautiful! When he brought you over to the house and introduced you I was willing to believe that he hired a call girl to pose as his date. I'm just glad he brought you into the house!
So after I busted his chops for a while and realized that you could hold up the conversation just fine, it was time for dinner. My wife passed a long time ago, so I had to learn how to cook for my son. I'd like to say that I'm pretty good at it, but hell it's just food. Dinner went smooth, and I couldn't help but keep glancing your way. That cute top of yours and that short skirt. I could swear you were looking too.
After dinner my son tried to take you away, but I wasn't having it. I took his keys and popped open the whisky. I'm a classy drinker myself, but I'll stick to a nice Jameson and served it on the rocks. My boy sure whined about it, but you grabbed that glass and took it like a champ! Hadn't seen a girl with that kind of moxxy in a long time. What was even better about that was put'n my boy on the spot. He got all in a tizzy and tried to show you up. Three glasses back to back. That would be impressive, if he didn't just sit down on the couch and stare half-dead at us.
With a little bit of that liquid courage inside of me, I figure now's a good time to get a point across.
"Son," I start, looking first to you and then to him, "this girl...no...this woman, is one of the finest girls I've seen in a while. You'd better make sure you treat her right". He simply grunts, not really there. Fuck it, I don't need him to really be paying attention. I put my hand on your thigh and keep looking at him.
"This woman may be fuckin' hot, but that's all the more reason that you need to make sure you keep her happy. Hell, her going out with you is more like community service going out with you!" I look you in the eyes, "you're not working on a DUI, are you?"
I keep my hand on your thigh and tighten my grip slightly.
"Tell me something, and you'd better not lie to me missy. Have you and my little dumb-ass over there made the beast with two backs yet?"