I admit that I'm annoyed as I sit here writing this because I am sitting here writing about it, but not when I'm out and about.

I am tired now because I realize this has been going on since I've hit puberty. Sure, I've improved after numerous rejections and befriending girls. I chill out through meditation, and weed.

This one sentence has three flags in it. "Has the balls" - this is something people usually say when then are tired of (or annoyed by) someone's behavior.

I'm hoping that she's not treating me like a child that can't take the truth. Saying next weekend, or not this weekend is basically like me asking mom if I can go to the video store and she keeps saying next Friday. It's insulting. Nothing against you but I don't understand your fascination with my chosen narrative. I'm writing this because I have a problem that I need help with, if I didn't care, I wouldn't write this at all, I'd have gone about my business. But because I do care, and I have feelings about it, I am writing this now and that's why my narrative is the way it is. Trust me, it doesn't mean anything, I suggest you forget about the narrative if it has nothing to do with my approach. The vulnerabilities that I show now are not something that I show to just everyone.

Here is the summary:

I can't seem to ask someone out without them becoming suddenly egotistical. I think I should continue to be aloof and ask them out, and strike while the iron's hot. I think timing is the issue. Problem is, when your dating life is as dry as mine neediness and insecurity shows up eventually regardless of what I do.