2meirl4meirl

Thanks to all the high praise my teachers and parents gave me as a kid and as a young adult I developed a crippling fear of failure. Getting less than perfect grades was my worst nightmare.

Ironically, it wasn’t until I became suicidal that things got better. I saw how little meaning the things I was so worried about had. Before, I was starting to absolutely hate what I was studying in college. It wasn’t until I wanted to kill myself that I realized that I still loved what I was studying, but the constant anxiety and panic for getting perfect grades sucked the joy right out of me.

Not saying being suicidal is a good thing, but at least for me it led me down a better path than the one that I would’ve gone through if I still feared failure so much. Plus, I was lucky that I had a supportive family. I probably would’ve gone through with the suicide even after learning my lesson about priorities had my family not been there to help me.

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