3 year old foster child doesn't respond to timeouts

Timeouts are not really a punitive measure, they're a way to allow the child to take some time out to think about their behaviour or to calm down. I am a fan of positive parenting but I know it's not for everyone. But in case you are willing to consider it, here's my advance.

Save the timeouts for the important stuff, like if she hits a kid or breaks something. Timeouts will stop having meaning if anything gets her punished. Avoid them when she's having a meltdown or a tantrum. If she's throwing a tantrum, ignore her. She will stop and as soon as she does, give her attention. Ask her "I cannot understand you when you throw a tantrum, but you can use your words and I will listen to you." or something like that. Also, I am 100% speculating while saying this but maybe she was often forgotten during timeout and so it lost its meaning and purpose to her. So when you do use timeout, tell her why she is there and tell her what you expect of her. For instance "You are in timeout because you hit a child at the grocery store and that is not nice. Now I want you to calm down and think about it, and when you're ready to say sorry, you come to me and you say sorry." and then you leave, you do not interact with them at all until time (3 minutes) is up. You do not interact with her unless she's being dangerous (breaking stuff or hurting herself) or if she gets out of timeout. If she gets out, just put her back until she sits for 3 minutes. When timeout is done, remind her why she got there, tell her you now want her to apologize, hug and go back to whatever you were doing.

What usually makes timeouts not work is if there's no difference between timeouts and every day life. If a child is bored out of their mind all the time, left alone and told to sit in a corner, timeout is just another 3-5 minutes of their life but with a special name, and maybe a bit of attention from their caregiver. So you need to make any time out of timeout so enjoyable that she will loathe having that positive time taken away from her with timeout.

This may help? I mean timeouts don't fix any problem overnight but it could work for you hopefully.

/r/Parenting Thread