Since it sounds like you're not quite ready to throw in the towel, try not taking no for an answer. Take the sex. I know that sounds rapey but that's not what I mean. If he says he doesn't want to have sex with you then change his mind. Don't be a quitter.

Have someone watch the kids for a night. Book a hotel and go set up a room with his favorite adult beverages and some snacks. Have some energy drinks available to indicate that he's going to need them. Get him in the car for a surprise and start driving towards the hotel. Wear a skirt and no panties. Put his hand on your leg and slide it up. If he stops or pulls away just look him in the eye and say "Touch my fucking vagina." If he doesn't then pull over, look him in the eye, and say "Either I drive and you play with me or you drive and I play with you, your choice. But know that we may get where we're going before you finish and you're going to have to walk in hard." If he argues then just say "Fine, have it your way, but tonight you're mine and we're still going." Then drive without a word. Drag him into the hotel if you have to. Tie his wrists with scarves and lay him down. Put some of his favorite type of porn on a laptop or tablet and look him in the eyes and say "Watch." Go down on him while he watches. Either let him finish as round one or, when he's sufficiently into it say "Enough of that." and hop on. Ride him and talk dirty to him. Ask him questions. "Did you like that?" "Did my mouth feel good?" "Did you like watching them <some dirty act from the porno>?" "Are you going to cum in me?" "Do you have a big hot load for my tiny little pussy?" Etc. Rub yourself while you ride him if you can cum that way. Find out what flips his switch from "I guess we can have sex." To "I have to have this woman right now."

If he's not receptive to this then you need to stop things dead and say: "I'm trying everything I can to make you want me. I want to be wanted. I need to feel that you want me and that you love me. If this isn't working then you need to tell me what will because you say you're attracted to me and I don't feel it. When we have sex it feels like you're using my body to masturbate. You're not fucking me out of lust or making love to me out of love. If you don't feel either of those things then you need to tell me so we can start figuring out what to do next. If you do feel them then you need to start showing me." That puts the ball in his court. He can either give you a clean break or find a way to start showing you that you are the love of his life like he told you you were when you got married.

If he is receptive to it then remember that sex doesn't always have to be that way. You can use it in the future to turn him on again. Just whisper in his ear "Do you remember when X?" Or "I thought about that night while I touched myself this morning." Try to find a night every once in a while where you can do something like that. Ask him what he'd like to do different. Offer to try new things. Try mojoupgrade.com and find some new things to try. Take him to a strip club and get have a girl dance for you while he watches, then take him home and bang his brains out. Take yoga and make sure he sees you in your yoga pants. Talk about how you're trying to get really flexible and give him a wink.

I know I'm putting this all on you but if you try some or all of this, or anything you know will turn him on, and nothing works then I think you've got your answer. The hope is that he's got some trigger that you can find by doing something that you're comfortable doing and that will reinvigorate his passion for you. He clearly doesn't respond to you telling him that you need passion so all that's left is to try and ignite it within him. If nothing works then you really need to consider your options.