This is not easy.

A couple years ago my wife was having a conversation with an ex-boyfriend she had when she was a teenager. She had mentioned to me that we should meet up with him for coffee and or a visit as he was planning on visiting the city we live in a few months. We had been married for 17 years (together for 20) at that point.

We were out of town going to a music concert with our two kids (both teen aged girls) and I was waiting for three of them to get ready. I found her phone (I actually do not have a cell phone myself, as I do not want one) and wanted to play a game she had on it and I saw a conversation that she was having with him. They were talking about sex they had as teenagers and how good it was etc.. It made me feel sick, I still feel sick about it actually.

I let it bother me for a couple of weeks and then it became almost unbearable. I was in so much pain, I was actually thinking about plans of leaving her. I decided to confront her.

I told her that she betrayed me and I was hurt. She told me that she didn't think she did anything wrong and it was my problem to get over and not hers. She then proceeded in telling me a list of things I do that she doesn't like. I have issues as well, for example I am not that outwardly emotional and do not like cuddling or holding hands or cuddling and things of that nature, but I have always been like that. We fought a lot for the next couple of days. Eventually she did come to me and say that she was sorry and that she could she why the conversation was inappropriate but that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with me and only me. I asked her to stop talking to him. I decided I was going to stick around and try to forgive her.

As far as I know she stop talking to him. She has said she did, but she put a password on her phone and I know she talks to other ex-boyfriends she had as a teenager.

It has been almost two years, I am still upset about it and I still have trust issues with her. If I try to talk to her about it she just gets mad at me that it is resolved and we don't need to talk about it and I should just get over it. We fight a lot more often now and our marriage is not nearly what it was before. If I look depressed or upset she just lays into me that I am not cuddly or hold her hand enough, things like that. Truthfully I don't want to.

In my mind, she cheated on me. Even if was just talk. I don't know what is going to happen with us, as I do love my wife, but the one thing I absolutely do not regret is confronting her about it. The guy she was doing this with is a nobody to me, so I didn't feel the need to talk to him at all but if he was a friend of mine I would have.