Thanks for sharing your perspective. For context, the city we grew up in was dominated by biker gang violence in the 80s and 90s. The two major gangs, one of which my partner's dad was a member of, represented a huge narcotics and human trafficking ring. The shootings, murder, and corruption were so bad that it was the only thing our city was known for. My partner's dad's only job was as a member of this gang. He was a bad dude and his mom knew it.

I would never judge someone for where they come from. I don't drive a fancy car and my parents are blue-collar. My partner is covered in tattoos and is also in the trades. My judgment of his mom and this particular bike gang has nothing to do with being elitist.

Point taken regarding victim blaming and it isn't my intention is not to blame her for the violence she was a victim of - no one deserves that. I just can't comprehend knowing that your spouse is beating the living daylights out of your small children and pretending not to notice it.