And often, our partner's reaction stems from how we talk.

For example, if I told my boyfriend, "Honey, I've got a new job offer in New Zealand and I'll be leaving for a month. The pay is really good there. What do you think of it? "

Supportive and self assured partners will definitely congratulate you and perhaps even suggest ways to help you settle down.

Insecure partners, on the other hand, can only think, "She's leaving me for a month? Does it mean she no longer love me and is sick of me? Does it mean she wants to get away from me?"

They often have trouble seeing the long term and is fixated with their own insecurities and worries, which translate into arguments because it stems from their fear that you'll leave them.

It depends on how much you love your wife and how much you are willing to work through this. You can live your life rejecting your work opportunities just to please her, but it's not going to make you happy and it will cause resentment against her instead. (And you didn't tell her about all these resentment that's why it's slowly accumulating and building up till you reach your breaking point and decide that this shit is enough)

Hence, I feel its really important to tell her how you feel (which will be met with her initial outburst definitely because people despise change), and try to let her understand your POV. It's not that easy to change POV overnight, so give her some time and let her cool down.

Stand firm to your decisions (to go overseas) and don't waver just because she doesn't like it. In the past, you've accepted her behaviour that if she doesn't like it, you will not do it. She will act in the same manner to get what she wants because it has been primed this way.

I hope you can find a win win solution for both of you. And you've come a long way, is it worth giving up now?