If you can ignore price for a second, make a list about what you want in the house. 4 bed? 3 bath? 3 car garage? whatever it is you want. Then look at what your options are. In all price ranges. Do you like the ones in the 300k range or do you find yourself more drawn to 500k?

Are there any homes being built in the area you like? is there any land out there where you would want to custom build your own home to your perfect tastes?

Your right with a big house it is more cleaning. It is also more furniture/decor to fill the extra space. So if she wants a bigger house she also needs to budget on what it would take to fill those rooms.

I would try and come to a middle ground because if you want to start having children you are going to want to have room for them already.