You’re allowed to not want others in your space, and it was a poor move on his part by setting you up to be the bad guy to his friend when he already knew your stance on the situation. He continued to be a turd by trying to say you’re selfish. Your space, your rules. Please don’t let him bully you into changing your boundaries. You deserve to have a safe place to call your own.

I’d say you aren’t losing much if he used some of your most hurtful moments against you. He’s a 33 y/o man, not some 20 something little boy. He’s supposed to love and take care of you. His threat of a breakup is probably a power move too, just to see if you’d break.

I’m sorry for your pain in the past, you didn’t deserve it, and you didn’t deserve this treatment now. We all do things we don’t mean in the heat of the moment, and while your spitting on him wasn’t right, I can understand how you felt attacked and reacted to a perceived threat.

Hold yourself ground. Whatever the outcome, I wish you the best