I [33 M] have been dating my girlfriend [27 F] for 1.5 years. 6 months ago I told her I was interested in marriage, she said she was not sure.

We stayed together for ten years, but probably should have split at seven. At around year seven I had a health crisis. We'd both been workaholics. He, in particular, lives and breathes his business. Work hard, play hard kind of mentality.

When I had my crisis, I re-evaluated my priorities and decided I did want to get married, but I knew that he and I had far different ideas of what marriage entails. He was happy with the status quo (and in fairness, it was a good life) while I wanted to slow the careers way down and have dinners at home, have children (he didn't want kids) etc. I wanted the typical boring relationship. He thought I was going through a phase because of my crisis and by the time he realized I was serious, we were well past done. He did try for a little while, but just as I had changed, he couldn't.

We didn't try therapy. Maybe we should have, but I doubt it would have changed anything. Our relationship had run its course. We're friends today and he's actually gotten married and had a child (that's how fate works...lol) and she's pretty awesome and really, quite perfect for him.

So in the end, you probably end up with the person you are supposed to end up with. If I'd stayed with him against my better judgment and ignored my needs, I wouldn't find my person that makes me happy.

Don't get married just to get married. Get married because that's your person and the one you want to spend the rest of your life with. Marriage is a contract. Love and companionship is something entirely different.

/r/relationships Thread Parent