Fuck needing people's opinions or basing decisions on them. You talk about not getting clues or hints, that's not an objective conversation in the first place though. You are innocuously making coffee because it is on your way, easy todo, and whatever. If there is no problem then it shouldn't matter what you do. What is the guy saying she is right about? Maybe that will tell you where to take the conversation. Maybe instead of being an asshole and plugging strangers' opinions for validation, she should sit down and talk with you because apparently there is a misunderstanding or something. Make her own it and don't let her dodge shit - it is clearly a problem, or she is a problem, because she keeps bringing it up. Your relationship is between the two of you, and her demanding opinions of others instead of listening to your own and speaking for herself, is kind of childish. She probably won't like my point of view when I say that, but you are getting mixed signals it seems like... and instead of sorting this shit out like an adult she is being extremely passive-aggressive and frankly is perpetuating the issue a little. Because for seemingly no reason this is an issue, and without her having a reasonable excuse for asking you to stop it feels more like she is just trying to control you. Instead of looking within your relationship for a resolution to this conflict or finding some compromise if there is a problem, she has to get validation from other people maybe because she doesn't actually have a good reason or maybe she wants conflict in the first place. I can get seeking advice and confiding in people but it's a little ridiculous to completely weigh an argument on a selective poll of humans versus actually hasing out a conversation and speaking for oneself. When people demand you agree to nonsense, it is usually confusing! Somewhere things are not matching up. She should drop the outside support and be fucking real about how this can be a nonissue but you shit get shit for it. Because I call that a lack of trust and respect, with a handful of insecurity. It's a bad habit that eats relationships if a.person can't process their own emotions much less explicitly speak about them. Her words and reassurance doesn't match with her actions. This is what we call bullshit.*