We were never a close family, father and mother are y the typical immigrant family from Asia, non stop working and crazy pressure from relatives, society and most of all themselves to "succeed".

Father was never one to show emotion, limited education and communication skills due to language and cultural barriers, which I believe dealt a huge blow to his self esteem and methods of coping, therefore out comes the uncontrollable anger. My mother is super anxious and a negative Nancy, always quick to find the faults in everything.

I moved back with them to help make peace because they were constantly fighting and it progressively got worse and worse as they have been getting older. Everyone saw it. But no one knew how to deal with it.

They don't talk to each other, let alone acknowledge in the slightest sense. After years and years of no empathy, compassion, reasoning and kindness turned them into two bitter individuals. To be fair, there were other factors that contributed to what it is now but that story will be for another time....

So, I was sitting with my father at dinner, mother was out at work, and I decided to talk about the past and what happened, why it happened and explained how it affected myself, siblings and mother. He was calm at first but I could see the anger ignite, it was a small flame like a candle but I knew that it would turn into an inferno eventually.

After more discussion about what happened in the past, I straight up said that it was his fault for what had happened to us all and how it kinda fucked everyone up, his inability to see the moment and how the anger that he had inside of him reverberated onto everyone around him, but ultimately I forgive him and I would not keep it inside my heart and that he should learn to douse the flames.

The fire was now burning full force and he couldn't calm down. He went on a tirade about how disappointed he was with me and tried to justify his actions, how my mother was at fault as well (which I don't deny) etc etc.

I kept my calm and repeated the words over and over again to him, "let it go, don't keep the anger in your heart. You can't see it, you can't see it. Let it go."

His rant continued on for a good 15-20mins and he went through waves of calmness then aggressive outbursts. He then stormed off into the next room, still ranting and obviously very angry. But I followed him and as he sat down on the couch, I sat down right next to him and then he burst out into tears and cried and cried and cried like I have never seen before. His angry rant changed to a self loathing mumble of sobs and uncontrollable tears of how he failed as a father and how he was not a good person.

I put my arm around his shoulders and started comforting him, telling him to let it all out, and that I don't keep it in my heart nor do I blame him. He tried to get up still crying and sobbing but I pulled him back down and sat him next to me, patting him on the back and comforting him. I think the last time that we actually held each other as father and son was when I was about 10 years old. So I was pretty surprised at what had happened but it all felt so right, so natural, and not awkward as I had my arm around my 61 year old father telling him that its not a problem and I am here to help you and mum, as he sobbed.

He eventually stopped and calmed down, he then went on to talk about how he realised that he needs to change and that he needs time to reflect.

I have never seen my father cry like that, I hope that this is the beginning of a change for good for everyone in the family and myself especially. Just to all of the Asian redditors out there who can relate to this story, there is hope.

tl;dr 61 year old Asian dad uncontrollable anger, confronted him about it, he cried and I hope this is the beginning of change.