Can you make an attempt to see it from his pov though? I might be reaching but if it's only been the last six months it sounds like this is a new development. So it makes sense that your husband is worried since why did this problem not exist before? You mention kids so unless they are adopted or something it also looks like you have not always had a problem with your ptsd and sex. Unpopular take but if I were the husband and all of a sudden my wife decided after ten years that she could no longer share a bed (in every sense of that term) with me I'd think something was up too. And you are already lying to him about going to therapy. On top of everything else you are being dishonest about your whereabouts but you can't understand why your husband thinks you are cheating? That's exactly how cheaters behave. If that's really where you are going then please get whatever help you need to fix this situation. Sorry if you really have ptsd but like someone said earlier, your damage is not your husband's fault or responsibility. And it's shitty and hurtful to say that you feel unsafe around him because of something someone else did. I feel like you are using it as a free pass to do whatever you want even if it hurts your husband. Do you know how much it takes for a guy to admit he is lonely? Please fix this.