You know absolutely nothing about our relationship outside of the small snapshot I've provided around the finances, and my side of the story in she won't talk about budgeting.
She wants to meet you half way of sorts and agrees that the CC debt should be paid and that spending should be tightened. However, you come back with "with no plan around it."
Does she well like a equal? like a partner? respected? She tries to have a conversation, but you're so set on your plan that you don't take input from her.
SHE does not want to have a plan around it. That's HER, not ME. I want a plan. She wants to "spend less" but is non-committal and doesn't want to talk specifics.
If someone has this mentality towards you. Would you feel like that person likes you? that that person loves you? that the person considers your feelings as much as their own? That they respect your opinion?
Honestly, if somebody had been providing for my lifestyle for years, and tried to express concern that our combined lifestyle was growing, unsustainable, and it was putting undue stress on her? I would really fucking hope I would listen.
You are in a fucking marriage. Why is your dream, your wife's nightmare. Less spending, treated like a child, cut off financially, no trip to japan, no respect.
A marriage is a partnership. Right now it's incredibly unbalanced. Honestly this is a discussion you should be able to have easily if a couple is both contributing the same amount of income to a relationship (which is super rare), and should be even easier when one person isn't contributing any money.
A nightmare is only spending $300 a month on makeup, clothing, etc? A nightmare is not getting to travel to the other side of the world? These are luxuries, wow. And shit, going to Japan is still probably going to happen, it's just tough for me to swallow when we can't discuss budget.
I can't go point by point through everything you've said. You have absolutely cherry picked some things, like quoting me on ULTA but ignoring my next sentence that says I spend just as much money on stupid shit.
Your response is pretty much as helpful as the people who posted "lol she gold diggin bro get out while u can", but I'm not going to dignify those with a response - you put some effort in so I'll put some back for you.
I understand why, because her opinion to you is irrelevant. you're not trying to talk, you're giving a lecture. Please apologize to your wife.
I'll close with a response to this: Her opinion is relevant. She won't give one other than "I just want to try and spend a bit less". I'm not apologizing for anything - I haven't yelled at her, I haven't taken away her credit cards and cut them up, or anything like that. I love my wife very much, she loves me very much. We have a solid relationship, we respect each other, and I've never given her any shit for not working - which most people would tell me I'm stupid for not having an issue with it, since it's not like she's at home taking care of the kids. We've been together 10 years, and she's had a full time job for 4 of those years, and part time work less than a year. I've worked the entire time.