To answer some questions, I will defer to my training as a scientist. So, here is what data I have.

I know I have depression and I work on that with my therapist along with other issues I have, mainly low self worth and social anxiety. Things have improved since I started therapy. However, I see others with similar or worse issues go on dates.

I know that I am pretty plain in the looks department. I can’t do much about that. I keep up with my grooming and wear nice clothes. I see other people, who have similar looks to mine or who are not well groomed in relationships frequently.

I do meet people at my job and at church. I have also been going to meet up group events. Sure, I develop crushes, which for me means that I want to date and maybe start developing a relationship with them. I don’t approach them to even ask to get coffee because I am scared.

I guess my conundrum is that I see many people with issues, mean people, all sorts of people who get dates or are in relationships. I am a pretty decent person with flaws like everyone else. How come I can’t seem to get a date, not in 21 years of being “eligible”?