Honestly, it sounds like the two of you need to figure out your financial situation. Meet a financial advisor or financial counselor to make a plan together. One option is to give each person an allowance. My husband and I each get a fairly large amount. He gets games and tools. I get clothing and shoes.

The insidious thing about debt is that the more debt you have the more money you pay towards interest. And the more financial stress you're under.

My husband is a stay at home and I work. But part of the deal is that we save a HUGE portion of our income. This means that I don't have to be (as) stressed about losing my job, since our savings can sustain is for a long time. I can also switch to a lower paying job without lowering our lifestyle. And in a worst case scenario, my husband can pick up a job (or some side jobs) and keep us going.

As a breadwinner, I do totally empathize with you. I would feel really resentful if I felt my spouse (who is supposed to be my partner in life) only cared about his own quality of life, even if it's at the expense of my happiness. Fortunately, my partner is happy to save money where he can as part of our "deal" that he doesn't have to work a corporate job.