I [37/m] called off my wedding due to her [31/f] finances.

She has no where to go other than home to mom and pop. Any breakup with her would have sent her down the tubes, or reset her progress. I wanted to help her dig out and I did the best I could. She wanted no part of micromanaging and is not a gracious student when it comes to me teaching her. (the clutch on my car doesn't work for her...its the car's fault.)
She knew good and well my posture on finances. She only settled into this career in the last three years.....she is finally stable with a job. Which coincidentally is right around the same time I told her I was unhappy in this relationship. The writing has been on the wall, and she knew I have issues about getting closer to divorce...I mean marriage. Which by default is closer to divorce. She is 31 and never put her foot down about having kids. We have talked about it many times. Its up in the air up to this day. That is a huge risk in the next few years that getting married is not going to help. I didn't kick her out of my life, just not wanting the formal arrangement. I don't want to be over a barrell. Also by the way she has ever felt the weight of being self sufficient and living on her own means.
Lets face it, I could have been making strides with someone else through my mid 20s to mid 30s and be in a much stronger position today, rather than providing for her like a husband, but without the legal arrangement. I did it voluntarily, because I loved her. And continued to do so even after i told her i was unhappy. I am almost 40. Not a glamorous bachelor scene. If I wait any longer I am going to be an old "man dad" with diabetes. So if this all goes to the crapper the time we were together is not just her loss.

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