512 years old? Not 500. Not 510, but 512. Really? And how does this whale, or the humans understand how old it is? If it was a dog I'd understand. At least they have a full concept of the passing and measurement of time.

We adopted dog once. The shelter said that he was at least 3, but we wondered how true that was. When I asked the dog he said he was 5 and in fact just had a birthday that June. How did he know this? The dog said his age and birthday are written down in his chart at the vet’s office where his previous family took him for regular checkups. At each appointment the vet would scan the chart and mention the dog’s age and birthday. Heck'n good boy.

I stole this joke. Nothing in my life is mine.