This is from OPs assumptions (She doesn't actually know where he is when he's not at home). And by her own admission, she doesn't have a good intuition on what her son is doing when he's not home. He managed to take college classes without her knowing.

She just assumed the worst about him, and that translates into toxic negativity at home. If a child is looking to escape his parents as often as possible, there is something wrong at home, and there is something unsettled in his mind. The fact that they have all these issues, the fact that OP is so clueless on whats actually going on her son's life, tells me that there's way more here that hasn't been said.