6 year-old with autism had an awful morning... not sure if I handled it well. :-/ Parents of kids with autism - help?

Our insurance won't cover ABA, because he is diagnosed with Social Communication and Pragmatics Disorder rather than ASD. The difference is one diagnostic criterion and my son has basically everything in common with autistic kids, but he is just barely off the spectrum because his deep interests are obsessive but not obsessive enough somehow for an ASD diagnosis and his repetitive movements are definitely repetitive and constant, but not constant enough somehow... We can't afford ABA without insurance.

I wanted to leave immediately, but the other kid's parent really didn't want us to go and my daughter was having such a good time. She almost never gets her own playdates and she is used to ignoring my son's meltdowns. Against my better judgment, we stayed. I guess we won't do that next time. Sometimes I wonder if it really is the right thing to go. I wonder if he should just get used to this stuff. That said, he was so upset he was gagging and I'm surprised he didn't vomit right there on the floor, so it's probably not at the level that he could just push through.

My daughter goes to preschool and she'll be in camp this summer. I pay my friend's au pair to take my daughter one day a week, so my daughter can play with the kids the au pair watches. My daughter does get out socially, but it's obvious she needs more social stuff in her life. She is an extreme extrovert who loves people more than anything. I'm sad for her that she lives in a house of introverts (including introverted me) and I can't even get her out to playdates most of the time, because of her brother's triggers. I love my son dearly. I would die for that kid, but I would love if he could manage a playdate that isn't focused on him for the sake of his sister.

/r/Parenting Thread Parent