This goal will be remembered for the rest of my life, as a young naive 16 year old this goal and game broke my heart and prepared me for the lifetime of misery an shit that i will participate in as an England fan.

I will never forgot screaming as it left Lampards boot inevitably knowing that he had already scored, the scream of 'Lampaaaaaaaaaaaard' from the commentator whos not Lawrenson, the sheer scenes as me and my other 16 year old friend erupted in pandemonium, unknowingly chucking cans of half drunk carlsberg round the free yard of my friends that housed us, embracing my pal to only receive what resembled a head butt to the jaw that would of knocked me out only for the pure junked up adrenaline jizzing through my body.

My heart dropped, something was wrong, id some how ended up behind the sofa but there was no more cheering, everyone was watching the screen, the game was still on, germany were on the attack and looked liked scoring, how could this be? Lampard just pinged a fucking lob from 30 fucking yards i saw it with my own fucking eyes, How could this be??? Why is it 2-1??? And then came the replay footage that will haunt me for my life, that close up shot of the ball cannoning off the bar and down way past the fucking line and the sound of disbelief in Mark Lawrensons voice as he squeezes out a sound baring resemblance to a brick sized shit that destroys your outer fucking rim. "WHAT DOES FIFA NOT WANT? TECHNOLOGY"

So halftime comes and i want to see someone held accountable for this. I want justice. We were robbed of our goal that would of lead us to be beat Germany 3-2 in the world cup last 16 from being 2-0 down!?!?!?!? As a 16 year old England enthusiast this is your fucking dream, brought up to believe in this weird bullshit rivalry with Germany was the biggest thing in football, youtube re watches of the 5-1 and getting absolutely fucked off 5 cans of fosters in a park, singing 10 german bombers in the air whilst you've got your fingers up some slag. This was the dream and we had it taken away from us, life could of been so different, we could of been heroes. Anyway so halftime ends and the game starts, Lampard nearly does the same but even further out, pinging a freekick from like 700 yards off against the bar but then we can destroyed. As i got older i would occasionally enter into dark points in my life and have the urge to self harm, ultimately leading me to watch highlights on the game, as i got older and the England fantasy faded away as I matured I came to the realisation that whilst England were in fact robbed of an outrageous Lampard screamer/equaliser, We were in fact playing James in goal, We did actually have Upson at CB with Johnson next to him, and yes, we really did play Barry and Milner together. The Germanys would of won that game if we went 2-0 up and they got a man sent off. We were fucking shit and could of lost 8-1 and James still somehow had a shit game despite saving quite a few chances.

Despite all the pain and sorrow this event and many other events have caused me in my short span of a lifetime, I always somehow end up getting my dick out for the boys and joining the mass wank off that falls on this nation when we get to a major tournament.