9 things that really do make you a better feminist than everybody else

and will no longer call myself a feminist ally

Okay I had to step in and say something here. I liked this article a lot, and I didn't get "men can't be allies" out of it, but if you did I just wanted to step in and say this will vary person to person.

Like, for years and years now I've volunteered with men who I proudly call my feminist allies. Maybe there are women who would disagree with that, and that's fine, we should all be allowed to have our opinions, but these men share the same vision, the same feminist ideology with me. They walk next to me in our 5ks, they sit next to me while answering the abuse hotline, they show what I would call willful consideration when interacting with the women around them, they listen to us when we speak without talking over us or behaving in an invalidating manner... they've been the only male friends I can talk to when I'm upset about something who don't ask if I'm "on the rag" or dismiss my valid thoughts by saying I must be PMSing.

Some of them have asked me if it's okay to call themselves my feminist allies. I'd imagine they've encountered people who believe men can't be feminists, but I don't feel that way and I can't think of any other feminists I know in real life who feel that way either. Some have just declared themselves feminists. That's okay with me too as long as their words and actions back that up. But women are imposed upon our entire lives by those with penis privilege, so I can definitely see how having a male seemingly butt into your space, your movement, and claim something you don't feel belongs to them is off putting. I personally feel you can be an ally to the movement and not just individuals, but again, that's my personal opinion. I'd just say ask when you're joining or taking part in a community.

After all, involving men in some of the conversations that concern women's issues is incredibly important. Men are more likely to listen to other men than to women (as evidenced by everyday life) and can have a lot of influence on each other in ways women can't touch. Like redefining manhood to exclude violence and include respecting/treating women as equals, etc. Women get written off where fellow males get taken seriously. It sucks but reality isn't arguable, so male allies are pretty damned important in my book.

So thank you for doing what you do to help, thanks for caring enough to listen and be polite, and I hope you'll both continue to support us and continue to stay subbed here. o (✿)o

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