I was born upon the villas of central England. Left in East London as a wee lad, I was raised by cockney ironworkers who hid me in the blacksmith shop from their terrible landlord, the Earl. John Earl.

At 16 I left the smelting behind to make my way to my dream, to dance with the Chippendales in Las Vegas. I had to pay my dues. 3 years in Atlantic City in the Thunder from Down Under. They called me Jake, from Melbourne. Even though I am not a criminal and have never been to Australia.

My big break came and I took it! Las Vegas, Chippendale. And, as life will happen.. I fell. Landed on the wife of the director. Repeatedly. Just, kept falling in.. on her. Thrust out of Nevada, I made my way to Alaska. Working as a fisherman on the cold, icy seas. Catching crabs, and seafood.

I met a lovely eskimo woman, we loved our life until our passionate lovemaking melted our igloo.

Once again, I needed to leave and find a home..where will I go next?