To AA or not to AA

I'm completely with both of you. AA certainly has its place. It has improved the lives of a great many people an is an incredibly valuable resource that I am very grateful is there if it is needed. Nevertheless, the idea that the only way that one can be "active" in the process of recovery is to attend AA seems overly general to the point of being extremely misguided.

The intense social anxiety I've struggled with for most of my life is what made me susceptible to becoming an alcoholic, along with a genetic predisposition. Drinking loosened me up and let my inhibitions drop a bit. In the very earliest stages of adulthood - back when it was possible for me to truly drink in moderation - I'd even go so far as to say that it had a (limited) net positive impact on my social life. What got me in the end was my failure to build upon the social ties I made in healthy settings that did not involve alcohol. (It didn't help that I dated a woman for a number of years from a Slavic culture where heavy drinking is much more normal and is often encouraged as a sign of masculinity). A gradual increase in reliance on my crutch over the years led to greater tolerance and a growing dependence that resulted in heavier drinking, causing erratic behavior that pushed away the friends I'd used alcohol to make. It also caused steady physical deterioration that made the insecurity that came from my unraveling personal life even worse. My decision to finally quit came at a low point in my life where I was so painfully insecure on the inside and unhealthy on the outside that I could barely look peers in the eye without a few shots in me.

The answer in my personal circumstance was to deal with the root cause of my alcoholism, which is not to say that I will ever consider going back to something that inflicted so much damage to my life and to those around me once my personal issues have been thoroughly dealt with. It's possible that going to AA would have given me a positive social environment for growth. But I know myself. There's a much stronger chance that it would have triggered a panic attack that would have sent me sprinting to the nearest liquor store. The things that have made success possible for me have been individual counseling, my commitment to sobriety, honest self-reflection, an intense effort to attain physical and mental fitness, and (of course) SD. Again, this is not to disparage AA and I recognize the tremendous good it does. But there are some of us who are better suited to a different path, and mine involves participation in this community and accountability to myself and my family.

/r/stopdrinking Thread Parent