AA question

The only requirement for AA membership is a desire to stop drinking. The rest is all up to you.

You'll be told that one meeting is not enough, but it can be. You'll be told a lot of things in AA that aren't necessarily true (cultish things like you won't be successful unless you "give yourself over to the program completely"). I used AA as a support group. Going in, I fully understood and accepted that I couldn't put alcohol in my body, because the same behavior happened every time: I craved more and became a heavy drinker. I understood it was lethal to me in that way.

I went to a lot of meetings the first four months, but then just once a week for about another year, then left. During that year, I did my version of the steps which was work on self-observation, looking at my past and how I behaved and what I believed about life and booze, made amends to people hurt (there weren't many) if appropriate, accepting and seeing reality as it is, letting go of the urge to control things I couldn't, and creative action (art forms, developing potential and talents, helping people when I could, and righting the financial ship and getting healthy). I continue to do these things. As for Step one, I fully accepted I was an alcoholic the morning after my last drunk.

The heart of the steps is to reduce stress and lighten the burden, so possibilities of triggers are reduced. Letting go and acceptance is a time-tested action for a better life.

I just can't drink, it's lethal to me. Plain and simple. It wasn't because I had a character defect, a weakness, or I was sinful, or because of self-will (as people say in AA), it was because that is how my body reacts to alcohol--like an allergy. I don't believe God has kept me sober---my choices have kept me sober. I just don't drink the first one. It's that simple. After a few months I never craved another drink anyway. The body detoxes and the cravings go away.

I've been sober over twenty years. Only 1.5 of those years were in AA, and once a week sufficed. I recently went back because I had the urge to help other alcoholics. I still don't believe the great majority of the dogma and group think in the program, nor do I believe that there's a God's will and that I have to give myself over to anything, and that if I have self-will that I'll drink again. I trust myself. I've had 20 great years of sobriety.

Lastly, I think you should know that Bill W, the founder of the program made millions of dollars off sales of the Big Book and other materials sold in AA. His heirs continue to do so. AA is not upfront about that, and Bill W is sort of canonized. Still, it's a good support group.

/r/stopdrinking Thread