Player: /u/hizballin
Character: Akuly
GM: Dekiec
Run: "Akuly's Bad Feels Initiation Run"
<<Once again, we're in Akuly's apartment. The camera is clearly on top of his small metal dinette set table. He clearly seems somewhat distraught; he's rubbing his brow and sipping vodka from a small glass as he speaks. His Russian is gloriously Orky>>
"What the fuck am I actually doing anymore? I mean, I've never been an angel, even when I was just a boy. My mother always said I was so sweet, until we came to the US, and then something changed. But I dunno. Things were looking up; I joined the Army, and if I'd stayed another term, I would have gotten my SIN. I loved being a soldier. I was made to be a soldier. I can sweat and suffer with the best of them. And My brothers WERE the best of them. I loved all of them, selflessly. The way people who never join up simply cannot understand."
He refills his shot glass and regards it for a moment, before drinking the whole thing. He doesn't slam it, but rather simply drinks it with a morosely slow-paced determination.
"I killed fucking Jeremy. He'd helped me drag bodies out of the Wild Cat ambush that more or less ended my military career. He helped me staunch bleeding and covered me while I bounded from cover to cover. He was my battle buddy! And now I've killed him. He has his shit together, he has a wife and a kid on the way, and now he's dead because he made some stupid mistake almost a decade ago.
Anymore, I wonder what I'm doing. Am I really just my job? The sum of my actions? My mother always told me, the measure of a man was his word and his deeds. So what if I give someone my word to do something, and the deed is enacting harm against someone you used to be close to? Someone, in another life, you'd have taken a bullet for? I'm not fucking sure, anymore.
For what it's worth, I killed him for Sergei. I had to kill his wife, because I gave her my real name by accident. And if you're in for a penny, you're in for a pound. But I mean, is this who I am now?"
Run Time: Cannot remember, 2 hours+?
Mission Rewards: 1500 nuyen, rank 1 initiation (Power point: Enhanced Attribute, AGI)
Mission Expenses: Covered by Lifestyle
Notes: Bad feels abound :(
Quotes of the session: "No, don't kill Debbie! She's pregnant!" -Deck