Player: /u/shad-68
Character: Onryo
GM: /u/TheRandomHobo
Run: Onryo's Nightmare
Sakura didn’t even have to open her eyes to know where she was. The unique odor of a musty old room mixed with cheap disinfectant had etched itself into her memories during the long weeks she was forced to endure it. As her eyes slowly opened she saw the dirty ceiling of her recovery room in Bill’s makeshift Barrens “clinic”. She looked down and found herself laying in one of the cheap hospital surplus beds that Bill used.
It all felt so familiar and expected, but something didn’t add up. How did she get here? Everything around her seemed to blur as she tried to trace the last thing she remembered. Her thought was interrupted by the creaking of the door opening. Out of habit she turned her head and looked at the lower half of the doorway, expecting Bill’s short dwarven body to waddle in.
Instead her eyes fell on a pair of leggings covered in an array of constantly shifting neon colored electrochromatic patterns. The sight was instantly familiar, yet somehow more dull and muted than what she remembered. Still, it was unmistakably one of Lizzy’s off-duty outfits. A smile spread over Sakura’s lips. Everyone in the unit had quickly taken a liking to the energetic young girl, Sakura especially. Lizzy had soon become akin to a little sister for her.
Sakura’s smile quickly faded as she looked up and saw Lizzy’s pale, lifeless skin and the ragged hole on her forehead where a bullet had torn into her skull. She felt a lump growing in her throat as Lizzy calmly walked over and sat down on a chair next to the bed. Her eyes were filled with sadness as she looked over to Sakura.
She already knew what was coming. The accusations. The piercing questions. It was all painfully familiar at this point. She opened her mouth to speak, but the only thing she managed to squeeze past the lump in her throat was a quiet whisper. “I’m so sorry…”
Lizzy’s voice sounded disappointed more than anything else. “Why are you doing this?” The question took Sakura by surprise. This wasn’t what she had expected.
“I… what do you mean?”
“This new life. This hunt. Why are you doing it?”
Sakura paused for a second, but then answered forcefully. “Because I need to bring the one who’s responsible for all this to justice!”
“But what you’re doing… that isn’t justice.” A single tear fell from her eye and rolled down her cheek. “Just think of all the people you have killed.”
Before Sakura could respond the door had opened again, and one after another a group of people crowded into the room. All of them were marred with bullet wounds, and Sakura recognized each one. All of them people that had died by her hands. She turned back to Lizzy.
“They were criminals! Murderers, slavers… if anything I did the world a favor by getting rid of them!”
“But that’s not justice! You didn’t arrest them, you didn’t grant them a fair trial. You just took it on yourself to be their executioner.”
“I’m not a cop anymore, I can’t do that! What was I supposed to do?”
“You could have neutralized them. Subdued them. Left them for the police to pick up. You did it with others. So why couldn’t you do it for these people?”
Sakura opened her mouth but couldn’t find any words to respond. More tears ran down Lizzy’s face as she continued. “This isn’t what we used to stand for.” The door opened once more. Sakura felt herself start to shake as the other members of her unit walked in one by one and lined up around the bed. Their eyes were filled with the same sadness as Lizzy’s. As Sakura looked back at her she noticed that the tears had mixed with a small trickle of blood. “You are becoming just like what we used to fight.”
“No! That’s not true! I’m trying to do what nobody else will and bring this guy to justice!”, Sakura protested.
“But it’s not justice! What you’re looking for is vengeance!”
“He murdered you! All of you! I can’t just let him get away with this.”
“Everyone has reasons for what they do. Think of all the people we arrested. ‘He killed my father’, or ‘they abused my sister’. We heard it so often. Everyone has their reasons. But that doesn’t make it right. It doesn’t mean it’s justice.” Red drops fell from her chin. “And don’t try to claim this is for us. You’re doing this for yourself, because you want revenge.”
“That isn’t true. I didn’t choose any of this. But this is what I have to do.” Whereas Sakura’s voice had previously been energetic in her defensiveness, it seemed to be overtaken by desperation now instead. "Why else am I still here when none of you are?”
“Life doesn’t work that way, there are no easy answers. But there’s always a choice. What you’re choosing is the easy way.” The trickle had now turned into a stream of bloody tears. “And to do so you’re turning on everything we used to fight for. Everything you used to fight for. You’re forgetting who you are. And when you walk that path, you will not only lose yourself, you will also lose us.”
Sakura swallowed heavily. The pain clung to her voice as she spoke. “… but I’ve already lost you.”
Lizzy got up from the chair and wrapped Sakura in a hug. Despite the lifeless appearance of her body she radiated a comforting warmth that enveloped Sakura and soothed the pain she felt. “As long as you remember us, we will be with you. But you can’t remember your friends if you forget who you are.” Lizzy continued to hold her for a while before she let go and pulled back. Sakura could feel the warmth slipping away and tried to hold her back, but her hands couldn’t reach her.
The girl sat back down and continued. “You don’t have to give yourself up to do this, there are other ways. You can gather evidence of what he’s done and deliver him to the authorities. Serve real justice.”
“But the authorities don’t care! The system betrayed us and protects him!”
“That’s why this is the hard path.”
“If I don’t take care of him myself he’ll just walk free!”
“Listen to yourself! The Sakura I knew would’ve never said anything like that! She had ideals and believed in what we did. Believed that it was right and necessary. Is all of that gone?” The bloody streams of tears continued to run down Lizzy’s face and the wound on her forehead began oozing blood as well.
“How could it not be after what happened?! How could I still believe in this ‘justice’ if you died for no reason while he gets away scot-free? The only thing I can do is take it upon myself and make him pay for what he’s done to you.”
“I already told you not claim that you’re doing this for us. None of us want this. None of us want to see you give up on everything you believed in. To see you become like him.”
“I’m not becoming like him! I’m still the same! But I have to do this! This is the only reason why I’m still here!”
Before Sakura had even finished speaking the people in the room began turning around one by one and walked out of the room. Sakura stared at Lizzy with wide eyes full of fear. The girl only shook her head sadly at her. “Goodbye, Sakura.” Then she got up as well. As Lizzy walked over to the door Sakura felt tears running down her face. “… please… I’m sorry. I never wanted any of this…”
Lizzy turned back around and ran over to Sakura. She could feel the warmth washing over her again as Lizzy hugged her. Sakura pulled her closer as the sobs began shaking her body. “You always have a choice, Sakura. Please remember that.”
Sakura’s eyes fluttered open. She was panting heavily. The sheets and mattress stuck to her, soaked in the same cold sweat that covered her whole body. Her stomach was twisting and churning and she felt herself starting to gag. She quickly got up. Her whole body shook as she stumbled towards the bathroom. Her legs gave out from under her a few steps from the toilet. She could feel the skin on her knees tear and start bleeding as they slammed into the floor. Ignoring the pain she crawled the last few steps to the toilet and propped herself up on the bowl, just in time before she couldn’t suppress the gag reflex anymore. It didn’t take long before she had emptied the contents of her stomach, but her body didn’t care. The sickening taste of bile filled her mouth as she continued retching. She tried to spit it out, but the vile taste remained.
Her body eventually calmed down, its energy spent on the violent convulsions, but her mind was still in turmoil. Weak and exhausted she slumped to the cold floor, drenched in sweat, the bilious aftertaste lingering in her mouth while a trickle of blood ran down her legs. With the last bit of strength she could muster she curled herself up. She didn’t even try to hold back the tears as quiet sobs began shaking her body.