This might be a good opportunity for me to ask you all about your thoughts on something as well.

I was having a talk with my boyfriend who, I think, has a really unrealistic view on abortion. Although we've been having sex since we were 16 (now in our early 20s), with much of that time relying on the pull-out method, he thinks that no matter what, if you really don't want a baby you shouldn't be having sex (because I had brought up that sometimes people do take precautions and it happens anyway), even though we have sex and we don't want a baby. Ultimately, he thinks that every person who gets pregnant and didn't want to should have been more responsible. It's just a really idealistic view to me and it doesn't take reality into account--that you can't stop people from getting it on for reasons other than procreation, and that accidents do happen. I really don't get how he can have that view and be with me the way he is but okay.

So that led me to say that I could never fathom giving my baby up for adoption, and he asks me why not in this incredulous tone. Queue another discussion about that, and I ended up arguing that if we were a black couple (we are both very white), he might feel very differently about abortion/adoption because while our potentially model-Aryan-baby would likely be adopted very quickly, non-white babies do not find new homes as easily because racism. See this article about how black babies cost less to adopt.

So, I had never really thought of how that might affect black peoples' views on abortion before that argument with my boyfriend. I wasn't intending to speak for anyone, but it was just a thought that came to me and I put it out there for the sake of debate to show how complex the issue of abortion really is. But now I'm wondering if it has any weight--do any of you feel like you'd opt for abortion before adoption because of how the adoption process treats babies of color? Or even with abortion out of the question? Sorry if it's an ignorant question, but it's been weighing on my mind for a while.

As for my personal views, I don't think pregnancy is a miracle. I think it can be great if you're excited about having a baby and you place that emotional importance on it, but generally speaking (not intending to discount those with fertility issues; I may run into them myself in the future), it's not difficult to achieve; it's just a matter of timing and biology. I don't see an issue with aborting early in the pregnancy, and what my boyfriend says would be our child to me would just be our little group of cells during that time.