Update: Thanks for all your responses. It's sad to hear stories of unfortunate situations, and also encouraging that alot of you are clearing the way for yourselves and your relations to live as a better father and husband, church member, leader.

To add something about me so you'll have some extra context: I'm currently single, but about to reach an age when it would be good to find a proper, godly wife. Seeing my father and mother having a questionable relationship, there are a lot of hard questions coming up. I'm also, mildly, subtly questioning the health of my brothers an sisters relationships (big family). I might, with advice, be able to help them out as well, same could go for your very own brothers and sisters or those of others. Also of course, important, the future wife. There's a simple need to know where to screen on not even in your wife, but in the relationship you have with her (from the start). Not that anyone here neccesarily has a final, definitive answer to it, but I think anything in this subject reading (from an RP christian such as you) is very much worth valuing.

How would you ideally, improve the situation at home with your (future) wife, and what would be your attitude to your father? Would you talk about him with what you've learned so far? How would you do that. What do you see in your brothers, sisters, situations?

Love to hear. Thanks again so far for all your honest stories