I've been emotionally abusive before. I had this drive to hurt people because I felt like they deserved it. There was a person who mooched off me, and another who cheated on his wife, and another who ghosted me. At the time, I felt like I was in the right.

I've learned since then that it's fucked up to verbally abuse people even if you think they deserve it. I can't really undo all those things now and I still feel a lot of shame about it, but I try to live my life in a healthier way now.

I don't contact those people that I messed with anymore because I don't want to re-victimize them... I wish I could apologize but sometimes I think apologies can hurt people even if they are sincere, just because people don't want to be contacted after being verbally abused. I also avoid social situations if I know those people will be there.

So I guess, to answer your question, in my case I knew, but my aggressive need to always be right was more important at the time.