ADHD adults- do you resent your parents for putting you on medication or for not putting you on meds?

I have never been on meds for my ADHD, but I have never resented my parents for it either. The only thing I kind of resent now, is that despite knowing the diagnose and being there when it happened, and even after signing me up for therapy for years... in the everyday life they act as if I don't have ADHD.

I don't mind that they expect things from me because it kinda keeps me motivated. But I do mind it, when I fail their expectations and they blame the fault on me, on my laziness, my messiness, my lack of self-control etc. It's as if they don't understand that I'm doing my best and ADHD, a neurodevelopmental disorder, makes it much harder. (I'm speaking in present tense since during college I still live with them, so all this still applies)

What is a little funny, is that my sibling has ASD, and my parents, especially my mom, always think about it. All my sibling's behaviors, which are symptoms or caused by ASD, are excused. My mom even goes out of her way to explain ASD on family gatherings. It is super nice that she advocates for them, raising awareness and being understanding, I'm really happy for my sibling. But what about me? I'm the older sibling and my symptoms are and always have been neglected. But my parents, from what I can see, are indeed capable of recognizing symptoms and invisible obstacles caused by a disorder. So I never understood why I was the only one belittled for it.. There was a time when my psychiatrist prescribed me antidepressants due to a depressive episode I had, but my mother said straight to my face "you don't have depression, she probably prescribed them so you wouldn't cry that much"...

So, I think that, actually, you're being a really good parent just because you're there, you're being understanding and reading about the disorder and searching for solutions to make her life easier. You've even tried accommodating her with the lists. I don't think she would resent you in the future if you put her on meds, because it would show that you cared about her.

/r/ADHD Thread