tl:dr: Bottom line is, it might all be related to his ADHD, what matters is how he face those thing. Does he acknowledge them and is willing to work on them. Or does he pushed them asides and does not care for your feelings.

Sorry, English not first language.

I have severe ADHD and I'm under medicated too (all the drugs I've tried so far have put me in the hospital because of side effects).

I recognize my self a lot if what you are writing. Depending on the time of the day, having a conversation is the hardest thing for me. Anything can set me off path. I can stop mid sentence and just start doing something else. I forget what I was saying or the point of my sentence. I ask my partner to repeat 3 times the same sentence. My parter has learned the signs of me not paying attention and I have learn not to be offended when he does something to catch my attention again.

I forget a lot of things. I had to create a post-it wall. Anything super important goes on my iPhone calendar IMMEDIATLY (with 2 alarms). And me and my partner write stuff on post-its all the time. It took me a while, but now every morning, I read my post-its.

I LOVE doing things for my partner, but it's hard. And it's a lot more obvious when I force my self to do something for him even though I'm happy to do it. But we worked trough it.

THAT SAID, ADHD does not prevent me from being excited about what goes on in my partners life. And sure, maybe I didn't pay attention and responded with a generic answer.... to which I would apologize for and not try to play it down or make him look like he's making a fuss for nothing.

"He always wants to watch what he wants to, go to the restaurants he wants to, etc. In the beginning of the relationship he would always pick the movie/tv show." That one was the worst for me. I had to work so hard in therapy for this one. I just wasn't picking up on the signs that it was time to compromise. I don't know how to explain it, but in my excitement to do stuff I was just pushy and selfish.

But in all of this, I've always been aware that I had some work to do. And it was all about working on it to be a better partner and my SO working on knowing when it was time to give me a break.