I'd like to say a couple things:

First, you are doing well. You are not getting sucked in by this in that you haven't ated on these unsettling....compulsions, I guess. Keep it up!

Second, this is more of a peer-support warning, or like, I'm-here-for-you-watch-out-for-this:

For some reason, I feel drawn to stories about pedophiles. It feels like I'm "checking" if I'm aroused by it.

As a person who has dealt with an addiction in the past (not yours, but still), "checking" on something to see if it is still attractive to you is THE SINGLE FASTEST WAY TO FALL INTO IT. Don't check on it, don't consider going near it......stay away from even thinking about it to ":heck" if it arouses you, because that's how you fall in.

Also, I don't think you have OD, because (non-doctor, so take that nwith a grain of salt) these thoughts of doing things you would never do don't seem to be compulsive, meaning you have to think aboun them.

What I think you have, and what you shouldcheck into, is intrusive thoughts. Not compulsive. Intrusive.

Intrusive thoughts are when you have thoughts of doing things , usually something you consider to be awful, sick, or horrible, that ome into your head and thoughts without you ever meaning for them to be there.

Someimtes they're violent and sometimes not. Sometimes they're sexual fantasies with adults or children, , but the key is you don't want them there. I thjink you should tak to a therapist about the fact that these intrusive thoughts are there, beaseu as long as you've never acted on them, they should provide you with support, and they should be able to teah you ways to sbreak those thought patterns.