Hi, I’m an adopted person of Islamic origin who grew up with white folks. My biological parents are from South Asia. I usually don’t talk about my experiences in Islamic circles because I’m constantly judged/interrogated with questions (it is mentally and spiritually exhausting), but you have a good head on your shoulders so I’ll give my 2 cents.
Please please please make sure you have a connection within the Islamic community for your child - preferably from the same country the child is from, but pretty much anything works. I also grew up in a rural area and was extremely lonely as a result of being socially isolated. I didn’t fit in with white people or the very few brown people in my town. I didn’t grow up knowing a single thing about Islam until I went to college and majored in religious studies. It had a very negative impact on my life. Please take steps to avoid your child being isolated in any capacity: they will absolutely need a therapist for their mental health- and like I said, any connection into his country’s community in your town/area is extremely important.
But as I have gotten older (am now in early 30’s), the Islamic community treats me worse as I am only seen as a strange individual- a true outcast. I was constantly bombarded with interrogative questions and judged for being more progressive/secular than most. I personally do not see that as a bad thing, and as a result, people wanted to argue with me and tell me how I was a bad Muslim, that I had to change every single minute aspect of my life because if I didn’t, I wasn’t a true Muslim. They didn’t stop to think or understand how hurtful their words were; it was worse being hurt by them than it was the ignorant white people I grew up around. They only wanted to interrogate me: they didn’t truly love me or show me kindness Muslims are famous for. I was the person people projected their insecurities on because they could not reconcile that someone like me could even exist. I didn’t even ask their opinions because I’m not interested in what others have to say: I’m only interested in what Allah (swt) says. But they still felt so important that they felt a compulsive need to say something even though they were wrong. My presence greatly bothered them. It destroyed my self esteem and mental health. It was so bad that I eventually left Islam. I have still not recovered.
Please please please protect your child from people like this. They are everywhere. My case is different as I found Islam later in life, but the same thing can happen to any child. Find people that YOU trust and have values/morals in alignment with you and your family. At the end of the day, that is what matters; are they a truly good person? Are they kind and do they help others? Do they study? (And if they have a disability, are you willing to help them?) Do they conduct them self in a way that reflects your values and makes you proud?
That is what’s important. Don’t let anyone tell you anything different. Protect and love your family. Tell them anything is possible and that you will love them NO MATTER WHAT. please message me OP if you need any help and I’ll do my best.
To everyone else, this comment is meant to be informative and helpful for OP. My experience and feelings are not up for a debate and I will not participate if you try to do so. Please do not leave judgmental comments or message me in an act of self-validation. I’m not interested. Any inappropriate messages will be flagged and reported. I don’t have the patience to deal with that anymore.