I can't answer all your questions but I can say you are definitely not alone. I was adopted at about one month old and pretty much have self-diagnosed CPTSD - I have massive abandonment and attachment issues. I also struggled a ton with anger and emotion dysregulation as a child.

It's not your fault. Even though both you and I grew up in "ideal situations", that doesn't invalidate the pain and hurt we suffer now. It's affected me my entire life but am only now noticing it.

I would recommend r/CPTSD and Pete Walker's book "Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving". I have had a lot of recent revelations that have helped me feel not so alone.

Good luck and DM me if you need anything else.