My situation is almost the same as your friend. I have a friemd who thinks about me the same way that you are doing now. Honestly, she's bitter and wants an excuse for her shit life and blames everyone else for having it easier. She never compares herself to other people who had it just as bad as her, only looks down on people who have it easier. She doesn't acknowledge the things that made her life easier or privileged, wven if she's not rich. For example, my parents moved to another country when I was 16 and even though they helped me out with rent, it was a really unstable time for me and the person who I lived with would kick me out randomly every now and again and I'd have to sleep in my car (I'm female, so there's the added fear of not being able to defend myself properly). She always has her family home to fall back on. When she broke up with her boyfriend, she could just move back home and, while it's shit to move home, it's a safety net that she doesn't appreciate. When we were younger, she lived at home and didn't have to pay rent, so she was, if she wanted, free to build a nest egg for herself. Those are benefits that are completely overlooked and "you're spoiled because your parents give you money". There are other things too, she has an entire support network because she's never left her home town. She's in government housing, paid for by taxes, but somehow, that's considered different - how? It's still unearned money.

On top of all that, I'm not at all taking what I have forgranted. I'm grateful and I know other people don't have it. I keep it very low key, and I never tell people about it, partly because of the "you're lazy/spolied/undeserving" label that gets ascribed to anyone who gets help from family. She's made me paranoid about it and it isn't something other people think of me, when they know the truth. For example, I was having a talk with my bf's best friend about it all (something bad had happened and I was upset) and I mentioned feeling upset that everyone things I'm a spoiled brat and he said he didn't think that at all. I've got some really deep insecurities about it and I find it embarrassing. That's partly because people want me to feel like that. They have a need to drag other people down, I think. Everything I accomplish in life is nothing to do with effort, but because of my parents. That's actually damaging. I have a sister who didn't get the same help as me and has been far more successful than me, so the argument doesn't even work, as by the view of a helping hand making people better achievers, it didn't in our case. She didn't want or need any help. And we had the same upbringing.

I do acknowledge that my achievements aren't the same as others in my exact position (i.e. the same house/job), but that doesn't mean that I didn't put effort in. Do you compare yoirself to people in the third world and apply the same logic - that they're more worthy of any accomplishments than you are? It's the same thing. If they get out, they will have worked harder than you, but that doesn't mean that you didn't work hard too. Does it mean they're better than you? You can take any two people and compare them and depending on the metric, you'll either come out as the more or less worthy one.

So, I got a £25k to start my business with my partner, and it now turnsover £500k in year 6. Are we not allowed to say we worked hard or do we always have to be undeserving of any success? We got the money from family, but if it had come from a bank, that would make us more worthy? We still took the risks (and actually, it's a massive, huge, horrible, stress to know that if we fail, we'll be letting our family down. We went out and networked three-four times a week. We did the actual production of the product. But, that doesn't count because we're lucky? It's actually unfair and you downplay years of long hours and stress. I'm just using a "psychological trick" to convince myself that my effort is in anyway comparable to people who don't get help. I know I'm lucky, but I also know I've worked hard. Why can't I acknowledge both without being labelled a deluded fool? It does feel like bitterness and jealousy, and a lot of people don't recognise their own privilege, like getting to stay at home until you can afford your own place - that's a huge advantage that people overlook.