Been depressed just about my whole life, since elementary if I recall correctly. I was always an outcast and just couldn’t seem to fit in. I was athletic, smart, handsome, and for some reason I let fear and ridicule get the best of me. I went through high school and never reached my full potential, I could’ve played ball somewhere but I let criticism get the best of me. Now I live my life in regret and look at myself like a wasted talent. Went to college though and earned a BA, got addicted to drugs in college, vowed when I graduated I’d quit everything, I did exactly that but the repercussions of years of abuse have left a permanent scar on my body. I need to seek help honestly. I know it’ll help. Just about everyday I ask myself why I don’t end it? I’ve already wasted too many good opportunities and there just seems like no hope at this point to continue, but I will continue. If not for me, for my family and what friends I have left. I keep telling myself one day I’ll make it, I hope I do. I’m not a religious man anymore, but I think it’s time to go back because that’s all I have.. to keep my sanity.