This kind of happened to me. I searched far and wide and far and wide. 23andMe, Ancestry, you name it. I didn’t really have any close relatives other than my daughter. Finally a guy popped up on Ancestry as my first cousin. I was like finally! I’ll find out something. Sent the guy multiple messages and he ghosted me. Absolutely nothing. I am now resigned to the fact that I am never going to find out and I have made peace with that. What’s funny is I have an adopted sister and once she learned her birth mother’s name she was able to find her after about 15 minutes of googling. Lol. Life man. I completely understand how you feel. Just remember you aren’t defined by the actions of someone in the past. They made their decision and moved on. You have people that love and care about you I’m sure. Just give them your time since they have earned it. Best wishes to you. Hope you find peace.