[ADVICE] Am I [25F] right in being upset about my fiancees [25M] lack of interest in anything? [NSFW, just to be sure.]

Why are you getting married to someone who sounds so boring? Was he always like this, and you just settled? Or did you initially fall in love with him when he behaved differently, and he's now changed? He must have mustered the passion and ambition to ask you to marry him at some point, right?

Sex once every few months... on top of not doing anything... he sounds like he might have depression or aspergers and/or be gay or not that into you. There is no right or wrong amount of sex to have, as long as each of you is happy (that's called being sexually compatible, and it can be hard to achieve). But it sounds like you're not happy (meaning you're not compatible).

Do you do almost all of the cooking, cleaning, bill-paying, chores, errands, and general tasks needed to keep you both alive. If so, I'm wondering if you're signing up to be his wife or his mom?

That concern aside, have you talked to him about your concerns in a sensitive way? He's not a mind-reader, you have to tell him when things bother you, and see if he responds or makes any changes. Have you asked him to change any of his behavior?

If you aren't communicating with your fiance about things that bother you, you might just be getting cold feet and looking for an excuse to leave an engagement that you don't want to be in. Or you have communication problems that will create problems for you with any guy, not just this one. I'm not trying to place the blame on you for this guy being a snooze-fest, I'm just wondering if there is anything less drastic that you can do than walking out the door.

If you have talked to him about your concerns and you have asked him to change, with no response on his part, you may be dealing with a lost cause.

If the answer is no, here's a suggestion: "Hi, fiance. I can't remember the last time you took me on a date, and that makes me sad. I really look forward to our wedding, but I don't want to start our marriage feeling like we take each other for granted. Can you take a break from the video games, and take me out on a date sometime soon? I'll let you plan the details, they're not important to me. I would just appreciate it if you asked me on a date, and took me somewhere special."

If he responds to that, and takes you out, there is hope. Provide positive reinforcement. Let him know you want dates to happen regularly. Then find a time to broach your other concerns.

Good luck and best wishes.

/r/relationship_advice Thread